7 Things I’m Doing to Minimize Picky Eating with My Toddler (As a Feeding Therapist & Mom)

It’s common for toddlers to go through a phase called food neophobia—the natural hesitation around new foods—starting around 18 months. While it usually fades by age 6, if we don’t approach it with intention, it can quickly contribute to persistent picky eating. As a pediatric feeding therapist and a mom, I’m living in both worlds—balancing evidence-based strategies with the messy, unpredictable reality of toddlerhood. Let’s be honest: even with all the training and knowledge, feeding a toddler can be challenging. But I’ve learned that toddlers thrive when they have predictable routines and clear boundaries—they need that sense of safety to confidently explore and learn within it. While it’s challenging to fully prevent picky eating in all cases, as even the most adventurous eater as a baby can go through a period of picky eating when they hit toddlerhood, there are several things we can do to help minimize the effects of picky eating.

Here’s what I’m intentionally doing at home to reduce picky eating and foster a positive relationship with food with my toddler.

Family meals are an important strategy to help reduce picky eating, and lay the foundation for successful feeding skills.

1. Prioritizing Eating Together as a Family

Family meals aren’t always picture-perfect, but we try to eat together as often as possible. Sitting down at the table, even if it’s just for 15 minutes, gives us the chance to model eating, share conversation and connection, and create a routine around meals. Toddlers learn so much through observation—when they see us enjoying a variety of foods without pressure, it makes a big difference. It’s also helping to teach my toddler that we all eat the same foods, there are no separate “my foods” and “mama/papa foods.” Eating is social and plays in important role in every culture. If we want our children to learn to be a part of that, then we need to make it part of their routine.

2. Always Including at Least One Preferred Food

Every meal and snack includes something I know my toddler likes. I try to vary the nutrition group of the preferred food across the day, so that there is a good chance she gets all of her nutrients across the day if not at each meal (e.g. instead of serving her preferred fruit at every meal, serve a preferred carb at breakfast, vegetable at lunch, and protein at dinner). That sense of predictability of always having something preferred helps reduce anxiety at mealtime. It also sends a message: “There’s something here for you,” which creates a safe space for exploring new foods without panic.

3. Offering Independence and Avoiding Pressure

No airplane spoons, no “just one bite” bargains, and no praise for “clean plates.” Instead, I let my toddler decide how much to eat from what’s served, and whether or not she eats. This autonomy builds trust. My job is to decide the “what, when, and where” of feeding—their job is to decide the rest (check out the Division of Responsibilities by Ellyn Satter). It’s amazing how taking the pressure off leads to more adventurous eating over time.

Allowing your toddler independence with eating can help reduce picky eating, as it gives them autonomy on deciding how much and whether or not they eat the foods that are served (their responsibilities during mealtime), and helps keep the feeling of pressure off.

4. Sticking to Predictable Meals and Snacks (No Grazing)

We keep meals and snacks on a consistent 2.5–3 hour schedule. That means no constant access to snacks or milk cups outside of planned eating times. Hunger is a natural motivator, and structure allows my toddler to arrive at the table ready to eat without turning food into a constant background activity. Offering food in a structured way every 2.5-3 hrs also ensures that she doesn’t become hangry (we’ve all been there). By providing balanced snacks that include proteins, fats, carbs, and fiber (fruits/veggies), we help toddlers feel fuller longer, as opposed to when we offer just a fruit/veggie pouch, or just “snacky" foods high in carbs, toddlers tend to get hungry again quickly. Children can eat up to 50% less calories if they are grazing throughout the day, as they are just taking the edge off of their hunger, and come to meals less hungry, therefore eating less of the nutrient dense foods served at meals.

Serving balanced meals and snacks every 2.5-3 hours is an important strategy to minimize picky eating.

5. Not Repeating the Same Food Too Often

Even if something is a favorite (hello, blueberries), I try not to serve the exact same food more than every other day. Why? Repetition can quickly turn into burnout. Offering a variety not only helps build flexibility and keeps mealtime interesting, but it helps reduce the chance of your child burning out on a foods they used to like.

6. Continuing to Serve Non-Preferred Foods

Just because a food is refused once (or ten times) doesn’t mean it’s off the menu. I continue to serve non-preferred foods in small portions, without pressure. Sometimes they just sit on the plate—and that’s okay. Familiarity breeds comfort, and often interest follows. I also make sure to prepare non-preferred foods in different ways (e.g. roasted, sautéed, in a sauce).

7. Varying the Presentation of Preferred Foods

That beloved banana? Sometimes it’s sliced, other times it’s in sticks, or served with peanut butter. Often times we don’t even realize we’re doing it - we always cut or prepare a food in a specific way, but before you know it, your toddler will only accept the food when it’s cut a certain way, which can become a challenge for everyone involved! Changing how preferred foods are offered builds tolerance for variation—a skill that helps toddlers become more flexible eaters across the board.

Serving a banana in different ways, such as cutting it in slices, serving it whole, and serving it with peanut butter can help increase your toddler’s tolerance for change, which helps them become more flexible with eating.

The Big Picture

Feeding isn’t just about nutrition—it’s about building trust, confidence, and a lifelong relationship with food. My approach as a therapist and mom isn’t perfect (there are plenty of messy, chaotic meals!), but it’s rooted in respect for my toddler’s autonomy, consistency in routines, and a long-game mindset.

If you’re navigating the picky eating stage, know this: you’re not alone, and small changes truly matter. 💛