Why Your Toddler Won’t Stay in Their High Chair (and What You Can Do About It)
When your baby or toddler is refusing to sit in their chair, there are a few different things to consider and try.
If you’re stuck in the “high chair battle” phase—where your toddler refuses to sit, arches their back, or pops up the second you blink—you’re not alone. This is such a common challenge. And while it can feel random or defiant in the moment, there’s usually something deeper going on.
Let’s look at a few reasons toddlers suddenly boycott their high chair —and what you can try to help bring some peace (and sitting!) back to meals.
1. There might be a negative association with the chair
Sometimes toddlers start to resist the high chair because they’ve connected it with something unpleasant—like having their face and/or hands wiped during meals, feeling pressured to eat, or even having a negative experience like gagging, vomiting, or a choking event while sitting in their high chair. Over time, these moments can build into a strong “no thank you” whenever it’s time to sit in their chair.
Try this:
First, keep face and hand wiping until after meals, and better yet, wash-up at the sink after meals so there’s no more association of the feeling of being wiped off with the high chair. Next, let your child self-feed and focus on their responsibilities (see my post on Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibilities), which includes deciding how much to eat, and whether or not to eat the foods served (hint: at least 1 food should be a preferred/safe food for your child at each meal - this helps them feel more comfortable, and ensures they have something they are likely to eat). Last, if your child is having frequent gagging, make sure your child’s food texture matches their skill level (when starting solids, soft solids should easily smash into a puree-type texture with light pressure; by 12 months of age babies should be able to eat soft table foods, and by 24 months of age children should be able to eat most foods, while continuing to modify and/or avoid choking hazard foods). If your child is not managing age-appropriate textures, speak to your pediatrician about a feeding evaluation with an SLP or OT.
2. They might not be comfortable
Unsupported feet and inappropriate tray/table heights can all make sitting in their high chair uncomfortable, and be a reason toddlers want to get out so quickly.
Would you want to sit and eat dinner if your feet were dangling, your chair tilted you backward, or the table hit all the way up at your chest? Toddlers often resist chairs that don’t feel physically supportive. For example, when our feet are dangling with no foot support, we have to use a lot of core strength to support our legs, which is both tiring and uncomfortable.
Here’s what to check:
Do they have foot support?
Is their posture upright, not slouching or leaning back?
Does the tray or table hit between the belly button and breast?
When kids feel stable, grounded, and secure in their body, they’re more likely to focus on the food and the experience.
Check out my favorite high chair that grows with your baby into elementary school! If your chair isn’t adjustable, and it’s not feasible to get one that is, you can add things like hand towels to bring your child higher in the seat, and yoga blocks or pasta boxes to build up a foot rest.
Here’s an example of appropriate support in a high chair, including knees, hips, and ankles at 90 degree angles, and an appropriate tray height. Baby looks relaxed and ready to eat!
3. The behavior might be working
Sometimes refusing the high chair turns into a pattern—not because of the chair itself, but because of what happens after they resist. If your toddler gets to sit in your lap, wander with snacks, or return to playing, they might just repeat the behavior because it leads to something more appealing.
Toddlers are smart. If getting out of the chair brings more connection or freedom, they'll keep trying it.
Try this:
Be consistent: food stays at the table. If they leave the chair, calmly remove the food and let them know they can come back when they’re ready to sit. No pressure, just a predictable pattern. Make sure you are providing your toddler with attention while they are at the table and eating! Sing songs, talk about their day, play silly games — this helps them feel connection during meals, which is a huge factor in making mealtimes a routine they want to return to.
4. You might need a reset
If mealtimes have become a power struggle, a few simple changes can go a long way. Removing the tray and pulling the chair right up to the table can help toddlers feel more included and less isolated. Shifting where the chair is placed or even switching to a different chair altogether (make sure you get an adjustable and supportive one if possible!) can also break strong negative associations. Something as simple as changing the view your child has during mealtime by moving their chair to a different spot at the table can sometimes be enough to break some of the negative associations they have with their chair (as long as the other root causes are addressed).
And perhaps most importantly—make meals fun. Sing some songs, make a mustache with your asparagus, talk about your day. The more joy and connection they associate with the table, the more willing they’ll be to stay.
Final thoughts
This can be a really tricky phase. Try not to worry if it takes time to figure out the root cause and find what works. It’s not about forcing your toddler to sit—it’s about making the chair a place they want to come back to.
You’ve got this. One supportive seat, pressure-free bite, and silly mealtime song at a time.
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This website and information on this blog post is provided for educational purposes only. It is not meant as medical advice, intended to replace a speech-language or feeding assessment, therapy from a speech-language pathologist, or serve as medical or nutritional care for a child. It is recommended that you discuss any concerns or questions you might have with your speech-language pathologist, pediatrician, and medical team, and develop an individualized team plan specifically for your child.